I wanted to take a moment to thank you. Your willingness to spend the time with me to unlock the emotions that have been buried inside of me have been nothing short of heroic.
As I mentioned to you, Elaine yesterday, I took my first breaths with an unburdened soul yesterday as we broke up a major internal structure that formed over my childhood (to protect me from what I felt was coming my way but has overstayed its welcome).
As we discussed, only emotion endures. However, misunderstood or unlabeled/unpacked emotions stacked on top of each other behaves the same way as sediment does in a riverbed. Over time, it gets more mud stacked on top of itself until the pressure and temperature turn it into stone. Then, nothing can escape from below.
You have given my daughter a more patient, loving, and caring father who does not storm off in a huff but can now more effectively weather the challenges of fatherhood to help her through the storms of childhood. You have saved here what would have inevitably become an anxiety issue with a father who storms around with unsolved issues.
You have given my wife a more patient, attentive, and aware husband who now puts the right time into himself so that he can be his best self at work and at home. You have saved her painful time of alienation from a frustrated husband who could not escape his ghosts.
You have given me a brighter moment/day/outlook. In the past weeks, I have been able to put myself out in the world again to explore and share my skills and talents while taking setbacks and challenges in stride. When I feel this way, I bring out the best in others as I feel I sell possibility which I turn into certainty. By helping me, you help 2-5 more people a day who find answers in the moments I share with them. I know what I feel like when I progress and grow. Others must feel the same way. You have saved me countless hours of anguish spiraling downward trying desperately to achieve under the weight of my issues.
I have a commencement speech that was given at the University of Texas that I love:
Admiral McRaven Speech
If you can change 10 people, the effect on the world is immeasurable. I don’t want to hide from life anymore and be a positive contributor to life in the short time I have here. The shifts you both have helped me escape from in my life help me touch many more than 10 people. You will have had a positive effect on many people through the time you both have invested in me.
On behalf of me and my family: Thank you.